White Silence
by iamnotasexualdevient
Summary: AU. "Jade West, they all said, tried to hang herself! Jade West, they all said, jumped in front of a bus! It was all very much like chinese whispers – everything got intertwined and no one knew the truth. Everyone except Tori Vega." Rated M for future chapters, themes and language. Please if you have any concerns/confussion: PM me :-)
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is something that came to me whilst listening to Make It Stop. It's probably something that I hold very close to my heart so I hope you enjoy it.

_**What God would damn a heart?  
And what God drove us apart?  
What God could?**_

_The halls of Hollywood Arts were filled with silence, even though they were filled with people. It wasn't surprising that the news spread like wild fire. 'A girl attempted to take her own life' wasn't something that was usually in the Hollywood Arts gossip forecast. Jade West, they all said, tried to hang herself! Jade West, they all said, jumped in front of a bus! It was all very much like chinese whispers – everything got intertwined and no one knew the truth. Everyone except Tori Vega. _

Jade hated dances. She despised the idea of being stuck with people she disliked, dressing in stupid clothes and dancing to shit music. But she promised someone that she'd give it a shot, so tonight she was due to attend her first Hollywood Art's dance. She spent days looking through stores, searching for something that screamed 'Yes I'm Jade West and yes I will still rip your head off' and 'Wow this is a dance appropriate outfit'. There was only two hours left of school, meaning she only had screenplay writing left. It wasn't her most favourite classes, but it was more tolerable than the others. Before heading to class, Jade went over to her locker to retrieve her books. A pink piece of paper fell out and Jade immediately knew who it was from. The handwriting was all too familiar.

_Meet me before last period? _

_xx_

The girl smiled to herself, biting her lower lip before closing her locker door and heading to the well-known janitors closet. Jade surveyed the area, glad majority of people were still eating lunch, and entered the petite room. Jade dropped her bag to the floor before searching for the girl in the dark. A light laugh filled the small space before the other girl pulled Jade towards her, placing a chaste kiss on her lips. Jade smiled into the kiss, her hands resting on the small of the girls back. The girl was Tori Vega, someone Jade had fell for almost immediately. Tori was only recently new to the school, arriving about four months ago, but Jade made it her mission to get under this girls skin. And it worked. The pair were inseparable almost, apart from Jade's crippling fear of her own sexuality. But, with many hours dedicated, Tori managed to get Jade to agree to 'come out' with her at Hollywood Art's annual dance party.

Tori was very self spoken, someone who was able to really stand up for herself and be proud of who she was. Although people at Hollywood Arts didn't know her as 'the new gay girl', they still knew the talent she possess and how proud she was of it. And even though Jade's demeanour displayed her as some tough chick who wouldn't take anyones shit, she was still afraid of truly being herself. Tori helped her come out of that tough shell, hence why Jade agreed she would publicly show that she was as gay as a unicorn and in love. Jade pulled back and breathed in the latinas scent. "I can't believe you talked me into this whole dance crap.." Tori rolled her eyes. "You've been saying that all week but after it's done, it'll be great. No more sneaking around or being in a janitors closet just to kiss.. or you know.." Jade laughed, a bit of blush sneaking up her neck. "I suppose you'll be able to see my bedroom later, huh?" They returned to kissing before hearing the school bell. Jade pulled away, pouting her lip. "I'll pick you up from your house at 6, deal?" She couldn't believe that she would finally agree on this but.. "Yes," Jade said, placing a kiss on Tori's forehead. "I won't flake either, cause I know that's what you're thinking." She picked her bag up and exited the closet. Silently she laughed to herself, knowing that she'd really be leaving the suffocating closet later.

She looked in the mirror and breathed in slowly, trying to calm her nerves. Everything was complete – hair, makeup, dress, shoes and jewellery. The latina kept it simple and classy, hoping Jade wouldn't feel too out of place with her clothing choice. Tori grabbed her phone from her dresser table to text Jade.

_Hey, just finished getting ready. Will be there in 10. Can't wait! X _

Her stomach did flips and her throat filled with butterflies. Just thinking about tonight made Tori's heart sink to the floor. Jade's house wasn't that far from Tori's to be honest, but because she got ready early she decided to stop at a drive thru and pick the two up some burgers. "Hey can I just get two regular cheese burgers.." She placed the order and drove to the next window, waiting for the meal. Checking her phone, Tori was surprised there was no reply. She frowned, shooting her another text.

_Just incase you're still getting ready or something I've picked us up some burgers :-) Be there soon x _

What felt like years, she finally pulled up in front of Jade's house. It was small, probably average compared to Tori's house, but she loved it anyway. Tori noticed the lack of lights on inside the house and became concerned. She got out of her car, walked up to the front door and knocked. There was no answer. The only other option was to call her mobile, which went straight to voicemail.

_Hi it's Jade. Leave or message or don't... whatever, I don't care. **Beep** _

_Uh, Jade.. I'm at your house and I'm kinda freaking out here. Please tell me you didn't flake on me. If you totally forgot I was picking you up.. that's fine, I guess..-_

A smash. Broken glass, Tori thought. She hit hard on the door with her palm. "Jade? I know you're in there so let me in!" Another smash. Then silence.

_**Sometimes we can't find a way to make it better  
No matter how hard we try**_

_**She was an angel lying on the bathroom floor  
She couldn't take it anymore  
It was just too hard to breathe **_

Jade had read places that before you die, your entire life flashed before your eyes. She hadn't lived much, she cowered a lot.. hid who she was. What kind of life was that? To Jade, it was worthless. Who wants a life of complete solitude? Who wants to live, loving someone, and knowing that could destroy everything? Who wants to be seen as some kind of freak show? Definitely not Jade. There was no white light, no massive epiphany that she wasn't ready to die. So what was this big deal? No revelation? How fucking dumb was that. So you got born, you lived and then you get booted off? That was a sick game god played. You made friendships, relationships.. had experiences.. all for what? Jade didn't wake up wanting to die. In fact, she was looking forward to a lot. It just happened, like a split second decision. I'm going to kill myself. Tacky and ironic but that was plain and simple. Death was Jade's choice and she welcomed it with open arms.

Before what Jade explained as the 'white silence', an angel held her. An angel with brown hair, one that kept repeating "You'll be fine, you'll be fine." And Jade knew she would be. She wouldn't have to face her shit life anymore. No more would she hide in solitude. It'd all be up and up from here on in. Life was suffocating, death was exhilarating and the angel kept her calm. It was silence where Jade accepted her life for what it was. It was the silence where she found comfort. After a while, the angel started to fade. So just like that, Jade let go.


	2. Chapter 2

She hadn't eaten in what felt like days. Tori paced the waiting room, anxious, waiting for someone to tell her anything. Was she okay? Was she going to live? No one could tell her anything. Once again she walked up to the nurses desk. "Is there anything yet? Where are her paren-" The nurse cut her off, "Mam, I don't know yet. Like I said before, her parents have been notified." Tori nodded hastily and returned back to pacing. The whole night was a blur, something that felt so surreal. The glass, blood.. her tear stained cheeks. Tori especially remembered the blood. Bright crimson red against her pale skin. It looked fake, heck Tori wished it was fake. She prayed it was all a sick joke. Maybe a little project the girl had to do for school. But it wasn't. The girl was dying in front of her eyes. A tap on Tori's shoulder bought her back to the present. "Hi, my name is . Are you the patients sister or family member?" Tori nodded her head. "We're.. we're sisters." The doctor nodded, glad he hadn't caught her white lie. "Okay. Well, she's in a stable condition. You're lucky you caught it in time otherwise she wouldn't have made it. She's sleeping at the moment but you can notify your parents and come see her when visiting hours start tomorrow." A silent okay slipped between Tori's mouth and the doctor walked away. She was going to be okay.

It'd been a week since the incident. She hadn't been to school, to terrified to face everyone. There was no doubt that in a school like Hollywood Arts that rumours would be circulating. It didn't help that insomnia was Tori's life now. When she did have periods of sleep, they were filled with nightmares. Shattered glass, bright crimson blood.. everything was etched into her memory now. Her parents tried to understand but they couldn't Surprisingly the only person who understood was her elder sister, Trina. It was Friday morning – her mom Holly prepared the usual breakfast of pancakes and maple syrup. Tori was still in her pyjamas which she rarely changed out of. The older latina was seated and dressed, chowing down on the buffet in front of her. "Morning Tor," she gave Tori a slight smile, hoping to cheer her younger sibling up. "Is there cereal?" Trina swallowed her last mouthful before getting up and putting her dishes in the sink. "Uh, I think so? Mom's already-" Lately, Tori's mood had been up and down. She'd been known to go from zero to twenty in a matter of seconds and unfortunately, Trina caught the twenty. "Can you guys just lay off of me? Fucking pancakes aren't going to magically make everything go back to normal." The younger latina never swore, so it caught Trina off guard. "Tor, I know it's hard but you need to pull it together for her, okay?" You see, even though Tori's relationship with Jade was secret, Trina knew. She had this whole.. sixth sense thing. Especially when it came to her younger sister. Tori closed the pantry door, holding a box of generic cereal, before breaking out in sobs, the cereal box dropped to the ground. Trina was immediately to her sisters side, pulling her in for a hug. "It's going to be okay.." Tori wrapped her arms around her sister, her head buried into Trina's mouth. "Stay home today and after I'm finished, we can go and visit her? See how she's doing?" Tori nodded, her crying slowing down, Trina continued to sooth her until she pulled back to wipe her sunken eyes. "Thank you.." Trina smiled at her sister, hating seeing the pain that was in her eyes. "No problem. But please shower and get changed into less daggy clothes."

Tori spent the day lounging around, reading old text messages between the two. Including the last one she ever got from her.

_I won't flake. I love you. _

She'd received it from Jade just after their conversation in the janitors closet. Pain ripped through her chest, knowing that could've potentially been the last thing she heard from her. Her phone beeped, bringing her back to the present. It was from Trina.

_Tor, just about to leave. Pleaseee tell me you're showered and dressed!_

Today was the first time she'd showered since that night. When she got home from the hospital after what felt like hours, she disposed of her bloodied clothing and just sat on the floor of her shower. She didn't make any effort to wash her hair or body, she just sat and let the pain engulf her. But today, Tori washed her hair and face. She even managed to put a little bit of makeup on. She didn't want to look broken in front of Jade. She didn't want Jade to worry about anything, especially not over her. She wasn't the one who.. tried to take her life. It took a while for Tori to accept that was what happened, too. For a few days she was in complete denial over it all. That it hadn't really happened the way the doctors had told her. It must've been an accident, not an intentional incident, she repeated to herself every morning. But now Tori had grown to accept it, all the with help of Trina of course.

_Showered & dressed. Stop worrying please._

Tori shortly heard Trina pull up into the driveway. She grabbed her handbag before exiting the house, locking the door behind her. When she got into the car, she felt Trina's eyes scanning over her. "Are you going to frisk me or are we going to get on the road?" The older latina rolled her eyes, before starting up the car again and pulling out of the drive way. "Are you sure you're ready?" Tori pulled her attention from her phone. "I'm dressed aren't I?" Again she rolled her eyes. "I mean are you ready to go and see her? I know things've been difficul-" Tori just shrugged and cut her sister off. "Things have been hard but she needs me so that's what I'm doing." Trina smiled lightly at her sister before continuing on route to the hospital.

_**I mean this, I'm okay!  
(Trust Me)**_

She wished the angel had taken her away. She wished that the white silence had swallowed her into an abyss, somewhere away from here. Instead she was stuck – stuck somewhere that made her feel dull, almost dead. Either that or it was the pills they insisted she took. When she looked into her fathers eyes, she saw anger. Anger and pain. Anger at the situation and pain for his daughter. That's why Jade threw fits, causing her to be sedated – because she couldn't stand seeing that. Even though that's all she'd seen her entire life, seeing it now made her sick to her very core. Thankfully for Jade's body, she wouldn't be requiring sedatives today as her dad said he was going to attend a business meeting. The hospital was going to keep her sectioned for a few more days, meaning she finally had time to herself and whatever was brewing inside her. A blonde nurse came into the room, moments after her dad departed. "You have a visitor, Miss West." Silently, Jade hoped it wasn't her. She'd wished that the girl had ran off from her and moved on with her life. Maybe she'd finally realised that Jade West lived up to her reputation of being weird and fucked in the head. She sat up, nodding towards the nurse to let her visitor in.

Her heart sat in her throat, watching the door with wide eyes. She stood at the door, plain denim jeans and a green tank top. Long legs that reached the moon, accompanied with long locks of brown hair flowing down the shoulders. Jade swallowed hard. "What are you doing here?" Her voice was hard and cold, but her eyes were soft. Tori entered the room, awkwardly sitting on a chair across from the bed. Her eyes scanned over the girls bandaged arms. Jade could sense her gaze, she cleared her throat. Tori's eyes snapped up to meet Jade's. "I- I wanted to see how you were doing." Tori looked down at her hands that were nervously clasped together. Jade felt different – like something inside her had changed. Her voice made Tori look up. "I'm fine." A lie, but she just wanted the girl to leave. Tori nodded, smiling lightly. "I've missed you.." Jade sat silent, looking at the girl in front of her. "I'm confused." The young latina frowned. "About?" Jade shrugged. "I'm confused as to why you're here, telling me these things." Tori's stomach sank, anxiety rushing through her body. "Why wouldn't I be here.. We're together and I love you.. am I missing something?"

_The final bell rang throughout the school. Jade smiled to herself – surprisingly she was actually getting excited for the dance. Even though it probably wouldn't be her scene, she would be spending the night with someone she cared about. Nothing would ruin that. The hallways were flooded with excited people, all talking about what they were wearing and who was their date. Usually this would've made Jade gag but now she knew what all the fuss was about. She made her way to her locker, grabbing some text books out that she needed to work on assignments. Closing the door, a figure startled her. It took her a second to realise, but it was Beck. Everything about him – the way he looked, talked – made Jade's insides turn. "Can I help you?" Beck smirked, stepping towards her and leaning down. "I know about your little girlfriend." Quickly, Jade composed herself. Beck was someone who didn't like not getting what he wanted. And what he'd wanted since day one, was Jade West. But little Mr popular wasn't very satisfied at Jade turning him down on multiple occasions. "Unfortunately I have no idea what you're talking about and you're wasting my time." She turned around only to have her wrist tightly caught in his hand. She turned to him, her eyes cold. "Let go of me." Beck smirked, leaning towards her again and whispered something in her ear. Her face dropped, eyes wide looking at his face as he laughed and walked away. _


	3. Chapter 3 (Short update)

**A/N:**** Thank you so much for your reviews. This chapter was so hard to write because I just had so many ideas and conflicting emotions. Hope you enjoy :-) **

_Her whole body was numb. Right now, Jade West was oblivious to the world around her. She didn't know that she bumped into a girl in the hallway, causing her to drop her books. She didn't know that the girl had given her the finger, calling her a bitch. And frankly, if she had known, she wouldn't have cared anyway. Jade had practically sped to her house, slamming every door behind her. She had spent a solid hour sitting on her bed, numb, looking around. Thoughts raced through her head. She was royally screwed. This whole situation was fucked up. Her phone beeped. _

_**Hey, just finished getting ready. Will be there in 10. Can't wait! X **_

"_Fuck!" Jade screamed, throwing her phone across the room, smashing her bedroom mirror. Storming out of her bedroom, Jade decided to raid her fathers alcohol. She took a large sip of his vodka, loving the burn down her throat and in heat of the moment she threw the bottle across the kitchen. The smash of glass against the brick wall exhilarated Jade into an angry frenzy. Anything that was made of glass or ceramics and was in Jade's path was history. Just as she threw a glass vase, Tori's voice distracted her. "Shit," Reality hit her in the gut. She was oblivious to the fact that her hands were cut up and bleeding. _

"_**Jade? I know you're in there so let me in!"**_

_She panicked. Jade didn't want this. Everything suffocated her, causing Jade to have slight anxiety. She looked at the environment around her – this reflected how she felt inside – the broken glass.. He'd broken her. Jade decided she was done with it all. He couldn't get to her if she wasn't here. The glass slid easily across her delicate and porcelain-like skin. She watched as the blood flew freely, trickling down and dripping onto the white tiles. Slowly she sat herself down, dragging the glass again, captivated with the blood that was oozing out. It wasn't long before she felt free – free of life, love.. pain. _

_**You love me but you don't know who I am  
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand  
And you love me but you don't know who I am  
So let me go  
Let me go**_

'Am I missing something?' Inside, Jade snickered. She was missing everything. She was missing the whole fucking point. But she didn't want to explain it. She wanted to fucking scream it all – the pain inside, the whole situation – but she couldn't. "I don't feel anything for you and my judgement was clouded before." Tori felt like she'd just been winded playing sport. Jade wanted Tori to never forget this pain – she wanted her to always remember this so she wouldn't come back, so she would move forward. "Please don't.." The latina's eyes filled with tears, but Jade's mask didn't falter. She decided to twist the knife in further, seeing just how far she could push the latina. "You don't know me, and now I'm showing you who I am. And I'm telling you now that I don't want anything to do with you." They sat in silence for a moment before Jade's eyes moved to the fact that someone had entered the room. "Tor.." Trina's eyes flicked over to her younger sister who was sitting now, slight tears staining her cheeks. "What the fuck did you do, you little bitch?" The older latina screamed, practically pouncing on Jade. Hair was pulled and scratches were made. Instantly Tori got up, calling for help and simultaneously sobbing, attempting to pull her older sister off of the girl who just tore her to shreds. Trina dug her hands into Jade's hair, yanking and spitting into her face. "You think you can just fuck around with my sister and expect to get away with it?" Nurses ran into the room, pulling both Tori and Trina away and out of the room. Tori leant against the wall across from Jade's room. It was surreal, the whole situation. In Tori's head, she'd imagined kissing and happy tears. Instead she got the complete opposite. She got darkness, darkness that suffocated her and made her sick to her very core. She didn't get love, she got hatred. Pure hatred. Slowly it engulfed her, and then she didn't feel anything. She felt darkness inside of her. Everything went black.

_**Oh can you tell, I haven't slept very well  
Since the last time that we spoke, you said  
"Please understand if I see you again don't even say hello."**_

**A:N**** This is a mini chapter, and I'm so sorry for the shortness. I just wanted to etch everything out before moving on to the real drama. Would love more reviews and if you have any recommendations for songs I could possibly use for future chapters.  
**


	4. Chapter 4

_**A:N – So sorry for the late update, been doing lots of assignments and yeah. Been a crappppppy time. Hope you like this longer update 3**_

_**All the love's still there I just don't know what to do with it now  
You know, I still can't believe we both did some things  
I don't even wanna think about  
Just say you love me and I'll say "I'm sorry,  
I don't want anybody else to feel this way"**_

She could feel the sun burning her face and she could smell her sisters all familiar perfume. This was the routine for Tori, for the past two weeks. Trina would come in and open her curtains, jump onto her bed and try to persuade Tori to get out of bed. She could tell that her sister was hopeful, that maybe – just maybe, Tori would get out of the depression she'd dug herself into. "Tori, you can't avoid life forever!" The young latina groaned before pulling the duvet over her head. "Yes I can, and that's what I intend to do until Mom and Dad can transfer me." Trina pulled the comforter back, revealing Tori's pouting face. "I'm not letting you transfer and waste your talent just because of a stupid bitch." Tori rolled her eyes. "I just don't wanna face her, okay?" Trina groaned. Each day, they went through the motions – Trina trying to get her out of bed, Tori saying she didn't want to see the wench (Trina's words, not Tori's). "No. This is getting old. Tori, you're going to school and you're going to move on. I know you feel like it's the end of the world, but you really shouldn't be putting so much time and energy into that bitch." She got off of the bed, walking around to Tori's side before forcefully pulling her younger sister out of her rut. "Trinaa, stop!" The older latina ignored her sisters pleas as she towed her down stairs and into the kitchen. "No, Tori. A week was okay, but going on two weeks without school is idiotic. You're going to get food down your throat and changed into normal clothing even if I have to cram my hand down your throat and change you myself." Tori groaned before obeying, grabbing a cereal bar from the pantry. "Happy. I'll eat and clothe myself without you, just gimme a minute." Trina smiled to herself in success, watching her younger sister trot back upstairs.

It only took Tori 10 minutes to get changed. Even though she only threw on a pair of baggy sweats and a long sleeved t-shirt, it was still more than her satin nighties. She also put in the extra effort to brush her teeth and hair, knowing that Trina would force her to do it anyway. Tori came down stairs to see her sister waiting patiently on the lounge. When Trina turned around to see her sister all done up, she smiled to herself. "Even though you're wearing sweats, I guess I'll let that pass." Tori laughed slightly, something she hadn't done in a while, but Trina was right – she needed to lighten up and move on. Hopefully it was going to be easy. The drive to school wasn't as easy though, as Trina kept trying to pep talk Tori into getting excited for school. "I don't see what's delightful about having to look at someone who makes me sick to my core." Trina shrugged, taking a bite out of the donut she bought on the drive. "So? Use that as your motivation to move on. If she repulses yo-" "She doesn't repulse me, she just hurt me, Trina. There's a big difference." Trina rolled her eyes. "Fine," she exclaimed at her sisters expense. "She hurt you, so move on. You shouldn't be bothering with anyone who hurts you, Tor. And I saw how she hurt you, and it hurt me to. That's why I'm so persistent on you just moving on." Trina was right, even though Tori didn't want to admit it. Her sister was the one that was there for her when she had her melt downs, when she couldn't sleep – even when she couldn't keep food down. "I know, it's just hard.." The older latina reached her hand out to comfort Tori, before giving her a light and reassuring smile. "It'll be fine."

_**Why do you do this to me?  
Why do you do this so easily?  
You make it hard to smile because  
You make it hard to breathe  
Why do you do this to me?**_

And boy, Trina was wrong. This was not going to be easy. At least not with Jade sucking face with a semi-handsome guy. Tori had seen this guy around school, but she hadn't been in any classes with him. Sure, they were in the same grade and everything but to be honest, Tori didn't take much notice of anyone but Jade. Until this morning. Tori was standing at her locker, blankly staring at the two. Jade had her hands around the boys neck, whilst his hands were on Jade's waist. Tori felt sick to her stomach – what she was witnessing was almost an exact mirror of how the two used to kiss. She was bought back to the present when Trina tapped her on the shoulder. "I got you a soda," Trina's gaze moved to where Tori was still staring. "Jesus, Tori." Obviously, Trina's voice was loud enough to be heard in Mexico because seconds after her exclamation of Tori's peeping, Jade turned around and scowled at them both. "Take a picture, Vega. And then you can have your little lesbian fantasies and masturbate to it in your bed." The boy laughed, taking Jade's hand and leading her up the schools main stairs. Tori scowled at her older sister who had sorry plastered all over her face. "Thanks a lot. Just stay the hell away from me." The younger latina spat over her shoulder, before running into the girls bathroom, hoping Trina wouldn't follow her in. She went into the nearest cubicle, locking the door and sitting on the lid of the toilet. Instantly, the young latina let out sobs, her chest hurting as her breathing became more rapid. She couldn't accept what just happened. Tori wanted everything to just be a bad nightmare – the hospital, the kiss – everything. It was all hurting her – she was hurting her. Why would Jade do this to her? How could she so easily toss her away and then treat her like dirt beneath her combat boots?

She hadn't noticed the sound of high heels entering the bathroom, or the friendly voice that exited a mystery girls mouth. A knock on her cubicle door was what caused Tori to wipe her eyes, take a deep breath and calm herself. "Hello? Are you sad in there?" Tori had heard the voice before, it was a girl from her tech class but she hadn't really shown interest in anyone else because it was the one class she had with Jade. She sniffled before answering. "No, I'm fine I just – I'm fine." Tori wasn't comfortable with the idea of spilling everything out to a complete stranger, irregardless of how badly she wanted and needed to talk to someone. The latina grabbed her bag and put her stage face on before unlocking and opening the door. A young girl with very bright (and blinding) red hair stood before her. Tori gave a slight smile before moving over to the basin to wash her hands. She could feel the girls eyes burning into her back before she turned to face the crimson haired doll. "Just a tough morning, that's all. Thank you for uh, caring enough to knock on the cubicle." The girl smiled before she pulled Tori into an unexpected hug. She stood awkwardly before the girl pulled back, a smile still on her face. "Uh, thanks?" Then the girl laughed, causing Tori to feel slightly confused. "My Mom always says that it's polite to hug someone when they're down. My name's Cat, by the way." Tori nodded before giving a half hearted smile. "And I'm Tori." A giggle escaped the red heads lips before she nodded. "I know, you're Tori and we take tech, props and writing together." The latina frowned, baffled at the fact that Cat was actually in more than one of her classes. How could Tori possibly not notice that? "Wow, I had no idea. But listen, this whole.. toilet thing, between you and me, okay?" Cat nodded before linking her arm in with Tori's taking her by complete surprise. "We have tech now, you can walk me." Reluctantly, Tori nodded, even though the girl didn't give her much time to reject the offer.

_**A:N: Sorry for a shorter update but next chapter will be much bigger I promise you. **_


	5. Chapter 5

_**A:N – Thanks for the reviews and favourites everyone. Trying to get updates done as quickly as possible. Might have more time for some updates on the weekend, I'll see. Keep the reviews comin' This chapter is short again, sorry :-(**_

* * *

The girls walked all the way to their class together, arms linked, with Cat constantly talking and Tori silently praying for some silence. Their conversation wasn't even really a conversation – it was just Cat telling Tori about all these things her brother did with the occasional 'oh' from Tori. Finally, for what felt like minutes, they made it to tech. Majority of the class was in, including Jade. Their eyes met for a millisecond before Cat pulled her to the seats in the middle. She was going to protest, but actually preferred the company right now. Even if it was from someone who seemed to have.. a lot of issues. Tori grabbed her books out of her bag, opening up to where they left off last time. The last class they had was the day they had the dance. Her page was filled with hearts and other little things that reminded her of the time where things were good. Cat nudged her shoulder before a boy next to her waved and introduced himself. "I'm sorry, what?" Tori's focus hadn't been the best lately, no surprise there I mean, who could focus when your ex was basically torturing you? "I said I'm Robbie. Don't worry, I'm use to people ignoring me, especially your sister Trina." She laughed slightly, shrugging – typical Trina behaviour. "Sorry. I'm Tori, nice to meet you and your.. puppet.." Her eyes moved to the puppet which sat on the boys lap. "Wanna get personally acquainted?" Tori glanced at both Cat and Robbie before scrunching up her face and turning her attention to the front. "Geez, Rex. Don't freak out someone we've just met." The silence was soon filled by their teachers voice who took no time to get right into the lesson.

* * *

Thankfully the lesson flew by. They had to do some group activities which unfortunately had Tori once paired up with Jade, Cat and Robbie. Jade didn't participate, which left the 3 doing all the work. Usually this would've been typical Jade behaviour, not bothering Tori – but today it did. It irritated the latina out of her. She just felt like slapping her and screaming 'if you don't like me, fine! But at least get off of your ass and help out!' Tori managed to keep it to herself though, not saying a word to herself or anyone else. They didn't make eye contact except for that awkward second at the beginning, which made the whole being in the same room process a lot easier for her. She packed her bag before turning to leave the room, when she was stopped by a hand gripping her wrist. Tori turned around to the voice of Cat. "Wanna have lunch with us?" Personally, Tori just wanted to be alone but she knew that she really could benefit from company and hey, maybe even a new friendship. Maybe Tori would warm up to Cat's personality? Reluctantly, the latina nodded before Cat squealed at her response. She was pulled into a hug before they made their way to the grub truck.

"Want anything?" Cat chirped, looking at both her and Robbie. Tori shrugged, she wasn't really hungry but she knew that she needed to eat something. She hadn't eaten a whole lot since the incident at the hospital, so it felt like she had to force herself just to eat one staple meal. "Uh, turkey and cheese on wholewheat?" Cat nodded before Robbie just answered with a simple 'burrito'. They handed Cat their money before standing to the side as she ordered. It was silent and slightly awkward for a moment, before Robbie broke the silence. "So, Cat told me about the toilet incident." The latina groaned. "Caaat!" The red head turned innocently upon hearing Tori's voice. "I'm Cat." Tori rolled her eyes. "You promised you weren't going to tell anyone!" Cat frowned before pouting slightly. "Are you mad?" Even though Tori didn't really know Cat, it was still impossible to be mad at her. She didn't know whether it was her face or overall personality, she couldn't gather the courage to blow a storm. Especially over something as stupid as telling someone Tori was a total cry baby. "No, it's fine." Cat beamed before turning back to pay the man for their food. Soon enough, Cat handed Tori her sandwich and Robbie his burrito. They sat at the nearest available table, Tori sitting next to Cat (mostly because Robbie's puppet freaked her out). She didn't really know what to talk about, so for a while they sat in silence, each eating their meal with small glances at each other in between bites.

Trina broke the silence, sitting down (reluctantly) beside Robbie. He went to say hello before the older latina shut him up with a simple hand gesture. "Tori, I need to talk to you." Tori took one last bite of her sandwich before looking up at her sister. "Not no-" It was obvious from Trina's whole demeanour that she didn't want to play games anymore. "You aren't supposed to be hating me, you're supposed to be hating her." She wasn't in the mood to talk, nor did she want to talk in front of complete strangers. "Who's her?" Tori eyed her sister, begging her not to say anything. Trina neglected her pleas before answering. "Jade West." Cat swallowed hard, glancing over to Robbie before frowning. "Is that why you were sad earlier?" How would anyone be comfortable with basically admitting that they were hurting over someone? That's why Tori could never grasp the point of therapists – she didn't know how anyone could walk into a room with a complete stranger and basically profess every little skeleton from their closet. Irregardless, Tori nodded before taking a bite of her sandwich. She was far from hungry, but Tori felt empty. The empty feeling had been there for a while now, but Tori just sat with it. But now, sitting with it made her feel sick. "Tori, being sad over her isn't worth it." Tori turned to Cat, scowling slightly. How could Cat possibly know if Jade was worth being sad over? To Tori, being sad over Jade was worth it. Even if it made her feel like shit, she would rather feel sad over her than feel nothing. "And you would know how?" Robbie glanced over at Cat who was now looking down at her hands. "Because.. because I've been there."


	6. Chapter 6

_**A:N Thank you for the reviews, hope you like this new update. Minor Cade – just wanted y'all to have a taste of another perspective :-)**_

* * *

The girl stared in disbelief. What precisely did Cat mean that she'd 'been there'? Was she close with someone who had been with Jade? Or.. Oh god. Anything but the later option. "Uh, what do you mean?" Cat looked to Robbie and Trina before sitting there silent. "Cat?" The girl perked up at the sound of her name. "Whaty?" The older latina groaned, growing impatient with Cat. "What the hell did you mean that'd you've been there?" The red head giggled slightly before explaining. "Well when I first came to Hollywood Arts, I met Jade in script writing. We were paired up for a group assignment and stuff.. happened." Tori stared in absolute disbelief. She'd hadn't picked up gay vibes from Cat – in fact she didn't pick up any vibes except 'random'. The fact that things happened between Jade and Cat made Tori feel a little bit weird.. and jealous. Not that there was anything to be jealous of now, since it seemed the two of them were done with Jade. "And.. exactly what kind of stuff happened, Cat?" Blush crept up the girls neck, almost as bright as her hair. "Private stuff.." Trina slapped her hand onto the table, frightening everyone (mostly Robbie). "Trina, what the hell?" Tori frowned, having no idea what just made her sister lose the plot. "Just tell us before I rip the red off of your head." Cat gasped. "What's that supposed to mean!" Tori rolled her eyes before turning to face the now traumatised Cat. "Cat, can you please just tell me what stuff happened between you and Jade?"

The girl nodded, twirling her hair with her fingers. "At first it was just kissing, but then it was more. We weren't girlfriend and boyfriend, we just kissed like friends." Cat shrugged. "Then she stopped hanging out with me." Tori took a moment to let the information sink in. So Jade and Cat had a little thing, whether it was serious or not, Tori didn't know. But from Cat's face (which was now somber compared to her usual self), Tori assumed it was at least serious to her. And it was.

* * *

_Cat sat on Jade's bed which was fitted with all black (not surprising) satin sheets, scrolling through the slap. She hadn't ever been to Jade's house before, since they had a strict policy of either Cat's house or Jade's car. Her friend entered the room with snacks (bibble) in one hand and a bottle of cola in the other. "You said you liked bibble so here, got you some." Jade threw the bag to Cat, whose eyes lit up like a child in a candy store. "Yay, bibble!" Jade rolled her eyes. She didn't understand Cat's obsession (or even like) for bibble. It tasted like crap to Jade, so she decided to stick to the soda. She took a sip of soda before looking over at Cat, who was clearly enjoying the bibble. But Jade didn't bring her here to have snacks. For some time now, her and Cat have been going about a sort of casual fling, if that's what people were calling hooking up now. To Jade it wasn't anything serious, and she didn't think it was any serious to Cat either. It was just something fun to do, you know? Getting your marbles off and having the company of a friend. _

_She put the soda on the floor before leaning over and kissing Cat, mid bibble eating. Jade pulled back, licking her lips. "Mm, bibble kiss." A giggle erupted from Cat's mouth before she playfully pushed Jade down to the bed, placing light kisses on the girls lips. Jade on the other hand wasn't in the mood so sweet and delicate. She gripped her hands into Cat's bright red locks, pulling her in for a deep and hungry kiss. Cat responded by moaning lightly into the other girls mouth. Jade smirked, deepening the kiss before she flipped the girl over so she was now on top. She kissed down Cat's jawline and neck, earning a few light appreciations from the girls mouth. Before things could progress further, Jade heard a car pull into the drive way. "Shit!" Jade hissed, getting up off of her bed before running to the window. "Who is it?" The girl sat up, wiping her mouth slightly. "It's my Dad, you have to go! Use the back door." She spun around, seriousness plastered on her face. Cat got off the bed, grabbed her bag and hurried down the hall and out the back door. _

* * *

"I didn't hear from her after that day. I texted her but got no reply. And when we had classes together, it was like I was invisible." Tori frowned. How could Jade treat such a nice person like Cat just like garbage? "I'm so sorry, Cat." The red head shrugged before smiling slightly. "After a while you just move on. Like my brother who got stabbed in Japan. He could only move on, and now he doesn't have a fear of knives." The young latina laughed slightly, taking another bite from her sandwich before she remembered a question she wanted to ask. "Do you know the guy she's seeing..?" Both Cat and Robbie nodded. "That's Beck, most popular guy in the school." Rex chirped, with a hint of jealousy. Cat shrugged her shoulders before taking a sip of water. "I'd never seen her with Beck until about a week ago. They're inseparable so I thought maybe he was the reason she didn't want anything to do with me anymore." It didn't make any sense to Tori. How could the boy have been the reason for Jade ditching Cat, if she and Tori started their own relationship at least four months after that.

The feeling of hunger was something new to Jade. And she hated it. Impatiently, she waited in line to order her salad from the grub truck. Hands snuck around Jade's waist. Forcing a smile, she turned to place a kiss onto Beck's awaiting lips. "Whatcha getting me?" She rolled her eyes before moving slightly out of his grasp. "I'm getting myself a salad. You can get your own food today." Beck smirked, returning his hands to Jade's waist, pulling her back towards him. "Someone's moody." Moody was an understatement. She was fucking pissed and wanted no more than to go home and watch people getting stabbed to death in movies that she wished were real. "I just want to get my salad and leave, if we can." God, saying 'we' made Jade ill to her stomach. Maybe someone should just come along and stab her to death to put her out of the misery. "You want a side order of Beck with that salad?" Jade rolled her eyes before nodding, moving up the queue and placing her order. Simple foods were all that Jade could keep down nowadays. The sheer thought of a proper meal made her want to vomit.

It didn't take long for her salad to be ready. Jade gave a small (meaningless) thanks before leaving with Beck in toe. She stopped dead in her tracks. Tori was talking with Cat. Her stomach churned before she forcefully grabbed Beck's wrist. "Let's get the hell out of here." Beck smirked as Jade pulled her along. Just as they passed their table, Jade diverted her eyes (still towing Beck), whilst the boy linked eyes with the young latina. He winked before laughing, whilst Tori scowled at him in complete disgust.


	7. Chapter 7

_**A:N Enjoyyyyyy. PS HOW COOL IS IT THAT THEY WON AT THE KCAS? I also had heaps of muse for this update :-)**_

* * *

His RV smelled horrendous, something Jade could only explain as 'boy smell'. She put up with it though, mostly because she didn't want him in her own house. Nor did she want to explain anything to her parents. Jade managed about half of her salad before she gave up, not willing to make herself feel sicker than she already was. Beck decided to drive to the local burger joint so at the moment, it was just Jade by herself. And she loved that. The only time she had to herself lately was either when she was at her own residence or when she was in the shower (her own shower, of course.) Jade grabbed her phone from her jeans pocket before opening the slap. Bored, she decided to update her profile.

Jade: _Stuck in a hot RV. I'M SWEATING. Might have to strip soon. _Mood: _Don't talk to me_

And she decided to just do that. Jade got off of the bed, pulling up her black tank top, revealing a laced black bra. Her jeans were next on the to take off list, which revealed a matching set of panties. After stripping herself of her clothing, she lay back on the bed, scrolling mindlessly through the slap. Not a moment later, Beck arrived. Jade didn't take much notice. "It's like you read my mind." Her eyes glanced over to the boy, who was just pulling off his shirt. She rolled her eyes. "No idea what you're talking about. It's just hot." Beck laughed before laying on his side facing the girl, whose attention happened to be elsewhere. His fingers trailed down her chest, making light circles around her belly button, his hand eventually resting above her underpants. Jade placed her phone beside her, turning her head to face Beck. "Can you not. It's hot, I'm sticky and the last thing I want to do is be physically repulsed." Jade snapped, seriousness plastered on her face. He moved forward, kissing her roughly before biting down hard on her lip. Smirking, he pulled back, hunger deep in his eyes. "But do you get a say?" Jade scowled at him before answering. "No. But I will literally hit you if you try."

She was feisty, Beck had to give her that. But he was in charge, and he needed to reiterate that. He kissed her again, this time more forcefully. Jades hands were trying to push his face away from hers, but he was much stronger even though Jade would never want to admit that. He managed to grab her hands, pining them down to the bed as her continued to invade her mouth with his tongue. As he pulled back though, Jade struck. Out of the blue, Beck was head butted. Jade sat up, slightly rubbing her forehead as Beck fell to the floor. She retrieved her clothing from the floor, pulling the tank over her head and quickly pulling her jeans up, not bothering to zip them up. Beck moved his hand to his nose, where he felt the warm moisture of blood. "What the fuck was that for?" He shouted, getting up slowly, still dizzy from the impact of Jade's head. "For trying to fuck me when I said no, asshole. I'm going home." The girl stormed out like a hurricane, slamming the RV's door behind her.

* * *

"It just doesn't make sense." The latina groaned, trying to wrap her head around the Jade situation. Both Cat and Robbie shrugged, not really knowing what to say. "Jade is a complicated person. Which is why I'm telling you it's better to just move on with your life." The red head beamed at Tori, grabbing her backpack as the school bell rang. "It's like my brother says: take it slow like a sloth." Tori frowned, still not understanding the little red heads weird analogies. But she nodded, retrieving her bag and rubbish. "I'll see you later then." Again, the girl beamed at the young latina. "Kay 'kay." Tori started her way towards the nearest trash can. Trina followed in toe before latching onto her sisters arm. "Okay so I know you're really chizzed at me right now, but you should really take that girls advice." Tori shrugged her arm out of Trina's grasp before putting her trash into the can. She turned towards Trina now, standing uncomfortably as she was still (as Trina put it) – chizzed. "I will be, but like Cat said.. slow like a sloth." Tori lightened up on her sister, pulling her in for an unexpected hug. "I know you're just trying to look out for me, and I appreciate that." Trina gave her a slight squeeze before pulling back and placing her hands on Tori's shoulders. "Enough of that. I think you should build the bridge to being better by performing a song at the kickback tonight." A nervous laugh escaped Tori's mouth. She shook her head, not believing what had just come out of her sisters mouth. "You cannot be serious, Trina." The older latina rolled her eyes, shaking her sister with the grip on her shoulders. "You could do it! I mean, not as good as me but hey – can't all be super talented." Mocking her sister, Tori rolled her eyes, removing her sisters hands from her shoulders. "I am not singing at the kick back and besides, how would that even help in moving on from Jade?" Trina returned her hands to Tori's shoulders, smirking slightly. "You know, sometimes I want to throw a brick at your face just so you'll get it." Tori frowned at her sister, who was still with a smirk plastered on her face. "I meant that you could pick a big 'screw you' song and perform it in front of Jade." Even though sometimes Trina was wrong, in Tori's opinion she was totally right. What better way to get started on the whole 'Jade detox' than to perform something that symbolised where Tori was headed. Excitedly, Tori placed a kiss on her sisters forehead. She pulled back, grinning at her stunned sister. "Out of everything to come out of your mouth, this is the smartest thing."

* * *

Her last class was with Sikowitz, which was perfect because he was involved in the entertainment aspect of the annual kick back. It would be Tori's first kick back and probably the most nerve racking, because she'd basically agreed to silently shame Jade with a song. The final bell rang throughout Hollywood Arts and immediately, Tori was up and waiting for Sikowitz to be done drinking his coconut. What felt like minutes, he finally finished and even though she was a bundle of nerves, it all kinda fell out of her mouth. "Can I perform tonight at the kick back?" Tori put on her signature puppy dog eyes, praying he would give her permission. Sikowitz took a final slurp from his coconut, pursing his lips as he pondered on his decision. "Okay." Internally, Tori squealed. She was actually kinda looking forward to wiping the stage (metaphorically) with a big 'screw you'. "But-" She groaned. "But?" He put the coconut on the floor before answering. "No songs about whales." Confused, Tori awkwardly laughed and frowned. "Why no songs about whales?" Sikowitz shrugged, exited the room, leaving the latina still with no answer. But that was Sikowitz – always leaving you wondering why he wasn't in a mental institution.

To Tori's surprise, Trina actually helped her get ready for the performance. Including fitting her into leather pants accompanied with a studded black crop top. She stood in front of the bathroom mirror in disbelief. "Trina, I cannot wear this. I look ridiculous." Anxiously, her hands covered her stomach. It wasn't that she was body conscious, she was just.. not use to really revealing herself this much. "You look hot, Tor. Trust me, when the make up is on and your hair is done, you'll be looking like a bombshell and that little twat will regret giving you up." Tori rolled her eyes but slowly, she relaxed. Trina was right. She needed to look good anyway, if she was going to go on the stage with any ounce of confidence. "It'll only take another half an hour, promise. Then before you know it, you'll be out there breaking hearts." That earned a laugh from the young latina, before she sat down on the chair completely at her sisters mercy.

* * *

A lot of people attended the kick back – Trina wasn't kidding. Tori snuck a peak from behind the stage curtains at all the people – some were dancing, others were eating. Her eyes landed on Jade, who was sporting a plaid dress with black stockings. The girls gaze was on her phone, oblivious to the fact that Beck was holding her by the waist. A hand tapped onto Tori's shoulder, causing her to jump. She turned to see Sikowitz, holding a microphone out to her. "Geez, you scared the chiz out of me." A slight and eery laugh escaped Sikowitz' mouth, leaving Tori feeling awkward. He motioned for her to get into position, then he disappeared onto the other side of the curtain. He cleared his throat into the microphone, earning the gaze of each person present. "We have a special performance from a girl, singing a song that thankfully isn't about whales." Cheer erupted from the crowd, even though no one (besides Trina) knew what was in store for them. The lights switched off, the curtains opened and Tori made her way to the centre of the stage. Her stomach was full of nerves, but then the music started. Lights shined down onto the latina, a slight blush creeping up her neck. She just had to let go, get it done but more importantly – show Jade that she wasn't going to be down anymore.

___**You know the bed feels warmer**____**, sleeping here alone**_

___**You know I dream in color, and do the things I want**_**  
**___**You think you've got the best of me, think you've had enough the last laugh**_

___**Bet you think that everything good is gone.**_

___**Think you left me broken down, think that I'd come running back**_

___**Baby, you don't know me, 'cause you're dead wrong**_


	8. Chapter 8

_**A:N Did this update whilst I still had the time :-) Hope you enjoy! I keep adding so much to the plot but I promise it'll all gel together. And btw, Cat/Tori is not endgame ;) I just really like the dynamics of them. Reviews, please :-) **_

* * *

After the incident with Beck, the last place that Jade wanted to be was at the school kick back. Yeah, they were fun. But they weren't fun when your entire existence was miserable. Another downside was the bruise she was sporting on her forehead. At least she wasn't the one with the fucked up nose. Jade heard Sikowitz speaking about some girl singing, but she didn't think much of it. It was probably going to be some talentless twat, singing about love or a stupid boy. When the lights got turned off, Jade looked up. Slightly intrigued, Jade put her phone back into her pocket, standing and waiting for this so called performance. Then the music started, lights shining down on one person. Tori. Her brown locks were in perfect waves, her eyes were lined with black eye liner. Her long legs were sculpted with leather pants, chest cupped in a studded crop-top bra, leaving her slender stomach exposed. The girls heart literally stopped for a millisecond, her draw dropped slightly and what felt like an hour – their eyes met. But something was different. Tori's eyes were cold – no hint of warmth what so ever. And now she knew exactly what was happening. Something that Jade wasn't looking forward to. Vega was moving on.

* * *

_**Thanks to you I got a new thing started.**_

_**Thanks to you I'm not the broken-hearted. **_

_**Thanks to you I'm finally thinking 'bout me. **_

_**You know in the end the day you left is just my beginning.**_

Tori was absolutely ecstatic hearing the crowd cheer. As she danced and sung along the stage, she occasionally caught slight glimpses of Jade. But she didn't let it phase her anymore. As far as Tori was concerned, she was done with Jade. No more feeling sorry for herself, no more sulking. Sh finished the performance with a bow, before handing the mic back to Sikowitz and running into the arms of her sister. They jumped around, both struck with complete euphoria. Trina pulled back, looking at her sister with complete and utter love. "Holy crap, Tor. You were amazing!" The younger Vega beamed ear to ear, pulling her sister in for another hug before pulling back at the arrival of Cat and Robbie. Congratulations flew through the air, hugs were made and happy tears were shed. "You were so good and you look so pretty!" Cat giggled before pulling Tori in for what felt like her 100th hug of the night. Tori gave the red head a slight squeeze before pulling back, her hands still wrapped around the girls petite waist. "Honestly, I couldn't have done it without you. Thank you." Cat smiled sweetly before leaning in and placing a slight kiss onto the latinas lips. She pulled back, leaving both Tori and everyone around her stunned. "No problem." She grabbed onto Robbie's arm, pulling them both away to the dance floor. Trina was still in shock, but Tori just shrugged it off. "Want a soda?" Her sister nodded. "Okay, be right back."

The young latina walked off, squeezing between groups of people (all of which congratulated her) just to get to the grub truck. There was a long queue, so she pulled out her phone to check the slap. She rolled her eyes reading a certain red heads status.

Cat Valentine: _Studs and kisses are fun. _Mood: _Dancy _

She threw in a quick update herself.

Tori Vega: _First kickback = SUCCESS. I think I kicked ass. Studs and kisses ARE fun. _Mood: Feisty

* * *

It wasn't long before the queue died down and it was Tori's turn to order. She put her phone in the back pocket of her pants before ordering. Even though they were leather, it was still (just) possible for the pockets to actually hold items. "Hey, can I just grab 2 colas?" The guy nodded, retrieving the sodas from the fridge, collecting the money and then calling for the next order. Tori walked off, carrying a soda in each hand. She stopped to talk to some people, thanking them for their comments, when someone walked by Tori, knocking her on the shoulder. Instantly, she turned around. "Uh, excuse me, you kinda just bumped into me." Tori had so much going on in her head, she didn't notice the pale skin or the outfit. The girl turned around, scowling slightly. "Oh did I?" The latina nodded, not really taking any crap now. "Yep. You did. Gonna apologise?" By now, quiet a crowd was surrounded. Typical though. Everyone wanted to see a Jade West showdown. Everyone except Trina, who was trying to pull her sister away. Instead, the younger latina handed her sister the sodas before placing her hands on her hips, ready and waiting for Jade's response. Jade shrugged, smirking slightly, before Beck came up behind her, his hands on her hips. "No idea what you're talking about, Vega. I have nothing to apologise for. You were in my way." Sarcastically, Tori laughed, stepping towards the scowling girl, leaving them almost face to face. "Oh, so this isn't about the fact that I finally realised what a horrible bitch you are, and then basically outed it all in that little performance before?" Jade's face wasn't readable. You couldn't tell what she was feeling – was she upset, hurt, angry? Tori couldn't tell. And she couldn't tell that she'd go from quiet to throwing punches in less than 10 seconds. A hard fist hit her in the jaw, leaving Tori kneeling on the ground as the other girl promptly left the scene. Everyone rushed towards the latina, but Trina stood in, pushing everyone away. "Back off and give her some damn space!" Trina went into protective mode, scanning the crowd for any sign of Jade.

With the help of Cat and Trina, Tori got to her feet. Her jaw was already slowly but surely reddening from the impact. Hastily, Robbie left to get an icepack, whilst Trina and Cat pulled the girl away from the crowd and into the girls bathroom. Cat's face was soft, whilst Trina's was hard. Tori on the other hand was in complete shock. She couldn't believe that Jade would actually do that. And for what? Just because Tori finally stood up for herself? Pathetic. This whole situation was pathetic. It made Tori both angry and frustrated. Angry that Jade would purposely egg her on and frustrated that out of all confrontations they've had since 'breaking up', this was the longest one. And it resulted in her having an aching jaw. Robbie popped his hand in, giving Trina the ice pack. She muttered a slight thanks before carefully placing it onto her sisters jaw. "Tori, you shouldn't have done that." Tori shrugged, leaning against the basin, her right hand holding the ice pack in place. "It had to be done. I needed to assert myself and I did." The red head pouted, slowly stroking the young latinas head (which was starting to throb, too). "And now you're hurt." It was nice that everyone cared about her wellbeing, but after a while of feeling like a victim, Tori felt like that was really something that she had to do. "Could've been worse." Trina rolled her eyes. As much as she wanted to be angry with her sister, she couldn't. In fact, it made her kinda proud that her sister was willing to be so bad ass and stick up for herself. She pulled her younger sister into a hug, trying not to hurt her jaw. It was slightly awkward, given the icepack, but they made it work. "I'm going to just ring Mom and see if she can come pick us up, okay?" Tori nodded before looking over at Cat. "Can you just ask Mom if it's okay if I have a friend stay the night? I just need someone, you know?" Trina nodded, fully understanding the situation. She walked out, leaving just Tori and Cat. "I'm your friend?" A grin spread over the girls face, looking up at Tori who was now also grinning. "A special friend."


	9. Chapter 9 (Short update)

_**A:N Thanks for all your reviews. Would really love some more constructive input :-) Don't be afraid to message me with any issues you have :-) I also slightly changed my mind with Cat/Tori's relationship so pleaseeeeee keep reading and be sure to know that there will be some serious Jori happening soon. Also, sorry this is kinda short. TRIGGER WARNING: There is self harm in this chapter. **_

* * *

_**And the tears come streaming down your face  
When you lose something you can't replace  
When you love someone, but it goes to waste  
Could it be worse?**_

She didn't know how to handle herself anymore. Yes, it was true that Jade West had anger issues. But she'd never imagined that she'd ever physically hurt someone that she cared about like that. It was almost as if a whole different person took over. Was it weeks of pain that caused Jade to lash out? Or was it the harsh reality that Jade West couldn't take what she dished out on others. As soon as her fist hit the latina's jaw, Jade was hyperaware of her surroundings. She had to get out of there – she wasn't strong enough to see the shock that was in her eyes. When she arrived at her house, the lights were out, meaning that her parents were asleep. Without a second thought, Jade ran to her room, closing and locking the door behind her. Her parents had no idea what she was dealing with and they wouldn't understand. Ever since her suicide attempt, her parents went back to normal. They expected Jade to do so, too. They didn't do what the doctors suggested, such as getting her to see a professional. They took it with a grain of salt, shrugged their shoulders and continued living like everything was perfect. If only they knew that she was struggling, much more than she was before. Jade kneeled on the ground, retrieving a box from underneath her bed. The only relationship Jade had now, was the one with this box. It held all her emotions – and she was powerless to it. It had become second nature to Jade, that now whenever she felt pain, she would retrieve the box. For a few minutes she just sat on the floor sobbing to herself, holding the blade in her fist , oblivious to the fact that it was cutting into her hand. She was immune to pain now, in fact she sometimes even welcomed it. Jade's perspective made her think that she deserved everything. She deserved to have no friends, she deserved to watch someone she loved move on. She deserved to be punished. And that's what she did, nearly every night. Slowly Jade peeled the bracelets from her wrist, revealing bandaids covering slow healing wounds. There wasn't much space left on her canvas like wrist, so she was forced to draw over already painted lines. It stung, but it was nothing compared to what Jade felt when she looked at Tori.

* * *

After taking a few pain relievers Tori's jaw felt numb, meaning that she was actually able to sit and enjoy a movie without being interrupted with throbbing pain. Her Mom was cool with Cat staying over (no surprise), and to Tori's surprise – Cat was actually kinda fun to hang out with. You just had to get past all the random commentary. To her dismay though, Cat picked out the movie, which happened to be Despicable Me. Tori wasn't one for kid-targeted movies, she was more of a sappy girl movie enthusiast. But she agreed, put the DVD into the player and even got the two a bowl of popcorn. Trina went straight to bed, exhausted from the entire day, but Cat said she couldn't fall asleep without watching TV beforehand. She didn't have an issue with that, it was something to get her mind off of everything. Like why the hell Jade chose to punch her. Everyone was shocked, but no one was as shocked as Tori was. But, that aside – she just wanted to have some fun and try to forget about it all. Even if it was just for one night.

Within ten minutes of the movie starting, it was obvious that Cat was trying to stay awake. It was only 10.30pm, but she supposed her tiredness was due to the jam packed filled evening. She paused the movie, smirking slightly before turning to the red head. "Wanna sleep now?" The girl nodded sheepishly. "Kay 'kay." The latina turned the TV off, before heading to the kitchen to dispose of the left over popcorn. Cat, who insisted on sleeping in Tori's bed, was already making her way upstairs. Just as Tori was about to get a drink of water, her phone chime rung. The number wasn't familiar and the message was certainly vague.

_Sorry. _

Tori frowned before shooting a quick reply.

_Hey uh, think you have the wrong number. Thanks anyway?_

Putting her phone on silent, Tori retrieved a bottled water from her fridge before making her way to her bedroom. Cat was already underneath the sheets, laying on her side and scrolling through the slap. Tori placed the water bottle on her bedside table before turning the bedside lamp on. She walked over to he dresser, pulling out a simple purple satin night dress. "Cover your eyes, Cat." The red head let out a laugh before obeying, placing her petite hands over her tired eyes. Tori stripped herself of the leather pants and barely covering her boobs crop top, slipping the nightgown over her head before jumping into bed beside Cat. "Okay, you're free to see now." Again, the red head laughed. "That rhymed." Tori rolled her eyes before giving a slight grin to Cat. "Yes it did. Now sleep." "Kay 'kay." Tori turned off the lamp before rolling over to get comfortable. The night sure was interesting, which left Tori probing with something she needed to ask. "Hey, Cat?" The girl murmured a sleepy yes. "Uh, you know that little kiss you gave me earlier?" Cat nodded, smiling slightly at the memory. "Yeah?" The latina rolled over to face Cat. She didn't know how to really put it lightly. It wasn't that she didn't think Cat wasn't attractive, or that she didn't like her – heck, she had really taken a liking to her. But, she wasn't really wanting any form of serious relationship. She only wanted friendships, and Cat was a good friend. "Well, can you just.. not do it again?" Her eyes were wide open and she pouted slightly. "Are you mad?" Tori reached her hand out to lightly touch the red heads cheek. "No, I'm not mad at you. It's just – you're a really fun person but I really only want to be friends with you. I just.. didn't want to lead you on, and be like Jade." Cat smiled before leaning forward and placing a kiss onto Tori's forehead. "You could never be like her, but I appreciate your honesty." Tori smiled lightly, before rolling back over to the opposite side. "Night Cat." The girl mumbled something incoherent to Tori, before the pair both fell asleep.


	10. Chapter 10 (short update)

_**A/N: So so sorry for the late update. I had/have a writers block but I'm trying to get back into the swing of things. Sorry if this chapter is short. Trigger warning: there is violence and mentions of suicide/self harm.**_

_**FLASHBACK:**_

_"I know about your little girlfriend." Quickly, Jade composed herself. Beck was someone who didn't like not getting what he wanted. And what he'd wanted since day one, was Jade West. But little Mr popular wasn't very satisfied at Jade turning him down on multiple occasions. "Unfortunately I have no idea what you're talking about and you're wasting my time." She turned around only to have her wrist tightly caught in his hand. She turned to him, her eyes cold. "Let go of me." Beck smirked, leaning towards her again and pressed his mouth against her ear. "If you don't reconsider my suggestion, you'll be sorry." He let go of her wrist, walking away with a sense of pride. Jade's face dropped and without even thinking she made her way out of the school and to her car. _

* * *

_**And I know  
There's nothing I can say  
To change that part..**_

She couldn't sleep. How could anyone sleep knowing that nothing was ever going to be the same. There was no going back. It was like that saying.. "you made your bed, now lie in it". Jade had royally fucked things up and she had to deal with it now. She was stuck in a chronic insomnia. Hours seemed to pass like days, and days seemed to pass like years. To be honest, Jade didn't mean to punch Tori. That was the last thing she ever wanted to do. If she could turn back time, she so fucking would. She would take back everything – the suicide attempt, the succumbing to Beck.. everything. Jade got up and began to pace her room, her arms wrapped tight around her for support – it wasn't even cold, but Jade was afraid that she'd fall apart. Without even thinking, Jade grabbed her shoes (not even caring about the fact she was still in her pj's) and made her way out of her house and to her car. Jade's parents weren't the type to really care if she left randomly in the middle of the night – they trusted her, even though they had no idea that what Jade was about to do would potentially mean life or death at the end of the day. She turned the engine on and made her way out of the drive way and headed towards the place she was least welcome. Tori's house. It wasn't that far from where Jade lived, but it was far enough to give Jade an idea of what she wanted to say. She decided to park a few houses down from Tori's before shooting her a text. After everything went down, Jade got a new number – anything to stop people from harassing her. The only person who had that number was (unfortunately) Beck.

_Hey uh, think you have the wrong number. Thanks anyway?_

* * *

_Jade groaned in annoyance, grabbed the keys from the ignition and made her way up to the latina's house. When she arrived to the house, there were no lights on – not even in Tori's bedroom. She assumed that maybe her earlier actions had made the girl tired. Jade looked around at anything she could use to try and grab the latina's attention. Her eyes fell on some small rocks (small enough to make noise but not big enough to cause any actual damage to the property) and she began to peg them at the girls window. It took a lot to wake Tori up, but the dull pain in her jaw made it easier. She awoke to the dull noises of things hitting her window. Tori got out of bed and grabbed her sleeping gown before sheepishly walking over to observe whatever commotion was happening. She hoped it was just some punk street kids that she could quickly scare off. But she wasn't prepared to see Jade West – yes, the girl who hours before had globed her one in the face – throwing __pebbles at her window. Tori frowned, not really knowing why she would have the nerve to show up at her house especially after assaulting her. It seemed now that Trina and Cat's little pep talks about how negative and mean Jade was had finally paid off. Because now the latina (who yes, may be fragile looking) was fully prepared to show her what she was made of. Cat stirred in her sleep a bit as Tori exited the room, carefully and quietly ensuring she didn't wake anyone up as she made her way out of her room and down the stairs. Thank god everyone else in the house were heavy sleepers because otherwise she'd have to explain a few things. Tori quietly opened and unlocked the front door before making her way over to the girl. Jade must not have noticed that Tori had already woken because she got a fright when Tori tapped her on the shoulder. "What the hell are you doing here?" Tori didn't even have the ability to address Jade by her name and in her view – why the hell should Tori have to address the psycho anyway? "Did I wake you?" Tori gave her a half confused and half pissed off frown. "No, your lovely gift earlier has been keeping me awake. Again, what the ____hell __are you doing at my house?" Jade shrugged slightly, before taking a step towards Tori. The girl jumped back, holding a hand up towards Jade. "Don't you dare." Tears formed slightly in the latina's eyes. She didn't want to show weakness in front of Jade, but she couldn't help it. Even though she did the whole 'I'm strong fuck you' performance – there was still a lot of confusion Tori had towards Jade and everything that had happened in the past month or so. "Can you just let me explain." How Jade had an inch of nerve to come to Tori's house and 'let her explain' – Tori had no idea. But she was too tired (physically and emotionally) to deal with it. "Let you explain what? The fact that you acted so selfishly and then have the nerve to treat the only person who did right by you like complete shit?" Tori raised her voice, and took a step closer to Jade who was completely taken aback by Tori's words. "You put me through hell-" Jade cut her off, her own tears forming. "Don't you think I fucking know that, Tori?" The porch lights turned on, a confused Trina and Cat emerged, watching on as the argument boiled. "You can't expect me to want to give you the time of day. And I won't. I'm fucking done, so leave me alone." Tori turned and started to walk away, leaving a solemn Jade at her wits end. "I did this all for you. To protect you. You're all I care about." Tori stopped in her tracks, and began to walk away motioning to both Trina and Cat to leave. Trina however, being the big sister she was, shook her head. She made her way in an angry stride towards Jade, who was now willing to accept any punishment – she deserved it, in her view. "How fucking dare you come here and talk to my sister like that." Jade gave a laugh. "Oh yeah? And what the fuck have you done for her, Trina?" At this time, Cat was trying to comfort Tori who was now shaking – both with slight rage and despair. "How dare you talk to me like that, you little bitch. If it weren't for me, my sister would've probably necked herself. And all over a pathetic piece of trash." – _

* * *

_**A/N: Dun dun dunnnn. I stopped here because I wanted to do more in the next chapter. Please tell me what you think. I'm aware the characters are slightly OOC but I've written it how I'd see them react in their respective ways. **_


	11. Chapter 11

_**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Keep them coming. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Please keep reviewing and I'm open to suggestions :-) Trigger warning: as the plot is developing, there will be slight violence/rape mentioned. **_

* * *

_**And now, you wanna see how far down I can sink?  
Let me go, fuck!**_

What Trina was saying was true. This whole fucked up situation was because of Jade. She stood there silent for a moment, watching on as Cat comforted Tori, before she spoke her last words. "I just want Tori to know the truth.." Trina snickered at the girls pathetic attempt to (in her opinion) win her sister back. "Yeah well, you're not fucking welcome here so do her a favour and leave her alone." Trina watched as Jade nodded slightly and made her way back to her car. She turned around and made her way to her sister, who was now sobbing into the red heads shoulder. Tori then turned and pulled Trina into her for a hug, causing the older latina's eyes to welt up. "Sh, it's okay Tor.. it's okay.." The girl was a mess, which wasn't such a surprise given everything that'd happened in the last month of so. Trina didn't really know what to say, but she knew she just had to be there for her younger sister who now seemed to be falling apart at the seems. Trina motioned for Cat to get Tori a blanket, so the red head entered back into the house later returning with a blanket. She held on tight to her sister, feeling her calming down slowly but surely. Cat wrapped the blanket around the latina's shoulders, rubbing her back through the fabric. Trina pulled back, wiping the tears from her sisters cheeks. "It's going to be okay, Tori. You need some sleep and then in the morning we can go for pancakes, okay?" The girl nodded, giving her sister a slight smile before the three walked back into the house. There were a lot of hugs exchanged before Trina finally decided to go to bed. Cat and Tori soon followed, making their way back up to Tori's bedroom. Cat, being the good friend that she was, refused to go to sleep until she knew Tori was asleep. "I'm just going to take a shower, okay? I promise as soon as I'm finished we can go to sleep, okay Cat?" The girl nodded sheepishly, but Tori knew she'd be out like a light even before she got into the shower. It was definitely a very emotional night for everyone, especially Tori. She closed the door behind her, making her way to the bathroom. Majority of the time, Tori spent it staring at herself in the mirror, wondering how it ever came to be like this.

* * *

**FLASHBACK:**

_It was about two weeks before Hollywood Art's annual dance that was held. Tori didn't know how to approach the subject with Jade, considering a) it would potentially be their 'coming out' party and b) Jade wasn't into the whole dance thing (Tori knew this and she didn't even have to ask, it just came from her personality). Earlier on in the day, the pair had agreed to meet up at Tori's house (apparently Jade's was off limits, something to do with her father not really liking visitors – Tori didn't press it) for burgers and.. yeah, that time. They hadn't been doing it for long (and no, 'it' is not sex), they'd been seeing each other for maybe about four/five months. As much as Tori didn't like to admit, she wasn't into the whole secret relationship thing. It had it's perks (aka make-out sessions in the janitors closet) but it also had its cons (like not being able to hold your own girlfriends hand). Scratch that – Tori didn't even really know if they were girlfriends. She knew that they both felt exactly the same way about one another, but there was never any formal 'ask out' – you know, when someone goes 'I like you so much, blah blah blah will you date me'. They just kissed and did stuff that would usually qualify as dating (or god forbid, friends with benefits). Tori hoped it wasn't the later option, as she really really liked Jade. But she still reminded herself every day to just take it as it came, as Jade would be ready when she was ready. Yes, she was getting kinda impatient but hey – could you blame her? She wanted to parade Jade around saying 'look at this beautiful woman who I may or may not love'. _

_After school finished, Tori drove to the local (aka the closest) burger joint and ordered the two some cheese burgers (two for Tori, one for Jade – don't judge her) and some cokes. It didn't take long and it just so happened that as soon as the order was finished, Jade texted Tori. _

_**At yours now. Your sister gave me a weird look. Come quick or I might shank her. X**_

_Tori rolled her eyes. Yes, Trina had the habit of irritating multiple people (aka anyone she came into contact with – including her own family). She made her way to her house, smirking to herself as she saw Jade leant against her car in the driveway. Tori motioned for Jade to come and help her with the food and she complied. The two then made their way up to Tori's room, shutting the door behind them. "Just to be clear, you got three burgers for yourself right?" Tori playfully punched the girl in the shoulder, poking her tongue out. "No! I.. got two for myself. Don't judge me!" Jade smirked, giving the latina a light peck on the mouth. "I'm not judging, but don't expect me to kiss your greasy lips afterwards." Tori rolled her eyes, not taking her comment to heart. The pair sat and ate their food, making comments about their day and how weird Sikowitz was (like usual). Tori didn't really know when to bring the whole dance thing up. She wanted to do it preferably when Jade didn't have access to anything to potentially hit her with. They were now both laying on their backs, hands intertwined as they sat in silence. They did this often, just sat and were aware of each-other's presence. Some may find that boring but for Jade and Tori, it was nice. Jade however sensed Tori's tenseness, so she spoke up. "What's on your mind, Vega?" Nervously, Tori chewed on her lower lip before caving. "The dance is coming up.." Jade sat up now, her now straddling Tori's hips. She nodded, not really understanding where Tori was going with this. "Yep, it is. What about it?" Tori placed her hands onto Jade's hips, looking up at Jade's face. "Well I was, uh.. thinking that maybe we could.. go, together?" Jade rolled her eyes, and Tori instantly knew this was a bad idea. "It's okay, I know it's not your thing." Jade leant down, giving the girl a sweet kiss before pulling back. "It's not that it's not my thing, Tori. I just.. don't think I'm ready, you know?" Tori nodded, knowing exactly what her girlfriend meant. She wasn't ready to be out. Tori didn't want to press on the subject but she just needed clarification about why she was so worried about having people knowing about their relationship. "Is there a reason why we have to be so quiet about this?" Tori motioned to their hands, which were now interlocked. "There are people who probably wouldn't appreciate it.. But you need to know Tori, that I want nothing more than to just.. be, with you." – _

**/END FLASHBACK.**

* * *

The shower's steam was filling up the bathroom, making Tori feel slightly weak (which was probably a combination of her emotions as well). Tori stripped from her pyjamas, hopping into the shower. She cringed slightly as the hot water hit her back, but it still felt good. For a while, she just stood there with the water washing over her. Then she started to cry, thankful that the shower would muffle any of her sobs. It felt like her insides were being ripped out of her, all the once. As much as Tori liked to pretend that she was some strong person, she wasn't kidding anyone – not even herself. She wondered how anyone could just move on from something that had meant so much to them? How could people just go from loving someone to absolutely hating their entire existence. Tori wasn't like that. She realised, that she needed time to grieve. Everyone was so busy telling her that Jade was a bad person (which yes, Tori did somewhat agree) but no one was telling her 'you had a relationship, you felt feelings and you should be able to mourn'. No one was telling her that it was okay to wish things had turned out differently. And that's all she wanted – she just wanted someone to acknowledge that it sucked, that was she was feeling made her insides hurt. It was then that Jade's words came rushing back to her. _"I just want Tori to know the truth.." _What the hell did that mean? Was there more to everything that had gone down? She knew though, that if she bought this up to anyone (mainly Trina), they would dismiss it as Jade trying to push her little claws back into Tori's head. And if that was Jade's motives – it was working.

* * *

_**Well, when you go  
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay  
And maybe when you get back  
I'll be off to find another way**_

Jade didn't want to go home, but she knew that if home wasn't an option – there was only one other place. Beck's RV. She shuddered at the thought – the thought of having to 'love' him, the thought of him touching her.. It all made her want to throw up. She drove around for what felt like hours before she made her way to his 'house'. The lights were on, which was typical of Beck – he didn't really sleep much, at least not now that he had Jade. She turned off the cars engine, stepped out into the cold air and knocked on the RV's door. When he opened the door, he was slightly taken aback that it was Jade. Beck gave her a slight smirk, before letting her in. Neither said a word until Beck started to get speculative as to why Jade was here so late. "Where've you been?" Jade shrugged sluggishly, scrolling through her phone hoping and praying he'd leave it at that. "Just places, no where important." He gave a laugh, before he went over to Jade, throwing her phone onto the other side of the RV. "What the fuck was that for?" His eyes weren't the same now – they had a somewhat evil tinge to them (if that were even possible). He looked Jade up and down as she waited for an answer. "Do you really think I'm that naïve, Jade?" She tried to get his hands to loosen their grip on her wrists, but her attempts were failed – he was much stronger. "Well if you ask me, you are kinda on the slow side sometimes." Beck smirked. He knew very well that Jade had an attitude problem – one that he knew he could deal with. "What was our deal, Jade?" She rolled her eyes, which earned Beck tightening the grip on her wrists. "What was the deal?" His voice was more forceful now, causing Jade to get goosebumps. "That.. that I wouldn't go back to her. I wouldn't talk to her, unless.. unless it was to hurt her." He nodded, loosening his grip slightly. "So then, where were you tonight?" She gulped slightly, before giving in, knowing either she or Tori would be paying for it sooner or later. "I went to the house, but then I felt. I swear that's all that happened." Beck gave her a smirk, before one of his hands struck her hard on the cheek. "You know what happens when you lie, don't you Jade?" She nodded, her cheek now a bright red from where his palm struck her. "Good.." One of his hands caressed her face, and Jade knew what was coming next. He pulled down his pyjama pants, revealing a very erect member. "Do it.." Jade knew exactly what he meant. She gagged a little, praying that this time it'd be quick. But she knew that when anger happened before the deed, she was going to pay for it in more ways than one. She took his member into her mouth, her eyes closed as his hand found it's way to the back of her head. She shed slight tears as she prayed "This is for you, Tori.." –


End file.
